Posted in Uncategorized on January 28th, 2012 by admin – Comments Off
If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had
gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog
stands on the moon.
Posted in Uncategorized on January 28th, 2012 by admin – Comments Off
After the worldwide strike of the "I LOVE YOU VIRUS," reports are already
coming in that the virus is mutating into several stages. Within the next
few hours, expect to see:
The original "I love you" virus
The "I like you alot" virus
The "You're nice, but I just want to be friends" virus
The "Look, it was just a date...don't get clingy" virus
The "Okay, I think its best if we don't have anymore contact" virus
The "It was late, I was drunk, you were easy" virus
The "Stop calling me, you unfeeling jerk" virus
The "That's it, I hate you and your stupid dog" virus
and finally,
The "You have made an enemy today, prepare to be boarded" virus
Posted in Uncategorized on January 28th, 2012 by admin – Comments Off
A woman walks into a shop that sells very expensive Persian rugs.
She looks around and spots the perfect rug and walks over to inspect
it. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she farts loudly. Very
embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed
her little accident and hopes a sales person does not pop up at that
moment. As she turns back, standing next to her is a salesman.
"Good day, how may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably, she asks,
"Sir, how much does this rug cost?"
He answers, "Lady if you farted just touching it, you're gonna shit in
your pants when you hear what the price is."
Posted in Uncategorized on January 28th, 2012 by admin – Comments Off
Twas the night before christmas and all through the house,
everybody was stoned, even a mouse.
The stockings were stuffed with pretzels and beer,
and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.
The children were wrestling quietly in bed,
with sexy visions of masterbating in their heads.
All of sudden there came such a clatter,
I jumped off my wife's back to see what was the matter.
He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell,
from the sound of the crash i knew the fat motherfucker fell.
He snapped to his feet in a sudden flash,
he forgot to cover the crack of his ass.
He showed me the bird from his stubby little hands,
then he whipped out his box of sex toys and giant rubber bands.
All were thrown on the Tree at the same time,
He jumped with the fucking clock chimed.
He flew up the chimney just as fast as he came down,
I could tell he was some kind of professional clown.
He whipped dasher, dancer, and prancer, and vixon,
He kicked comit, cupid, donder and blitzen.
He shrieked loudly into the pale midnight,
Piss on all of you, and have a hell of a night!
Sent by Rob
Posted in Uncategorized on January 28th, 2012 by admin – Comments Off
The editor of the local paper was unable to secure advertising from one of the business men of the town, who asserted stoutly that he himself never read ads., and didn't believe anyone else did.
"Will you advertise if I can convince you that folks read the ads.?" the editor asked.
"If you can show me!" was the sarcastic answer. "But you can't."
In the next issue of the paper, the editor ran a line of small type in an obscure corner. It read:
"What is Jenkins going to do about it?"
The business man, Jenkins, hastened to seek out the editor next day. He admitted that he was being pestered out of his wits by the curious. He agreed to stand by the editor's explanation in the forthcoming issue, and this was:
"Jenkins is going to advertise, of course."
Having once advertised, Jenkins advertises still.
